Friday, June 10, 2005

Lileks on Dean

Lileks:
The gift that keeps on giving, this Dr. Dean.

Democratic National Committee chairman Howard Dean, unapologetic in the face of recent criticism that he has been too tough on his political opposition, said in San Francisco this week that Republicans are "a pretty monolithic party. They all behave the same. They all look the same. It's pretty much a white Christian party."

This will be met with two reactions: dismay from those who do not believe he speaks for Democrats – which is why he’s the head of the party, I guess – and elation from those who say Hell Yeah! Nail those pale christers, already! The former group has my sympathy, because it surely hurts to see the head of the party jam his foot so far in his mouth that the tassels of his loafers dangle from this buttocks. It must rankle the moderates to hear him fling this nonsense on a daily basis, after all; it's like having Pat Buchnan run the GOP and make constant fulminating speeches against Commie-Lezbo Vegans. The latter group might consider that Dr. Dean's reliable skill for vomiting undigested red meat on cue doesn’t endear them to moderates, but moderation isn’t what they want anyway. Unless you count “crucifying Bush but letting him climb down after half a day” as moderation.

“White Christian Party” has the advantage of Kluxer overtones, which plays into another hard-left paranoia: all them Jaysus people are a step away from whipping up a batch o' pointy hats with pillow cases and a can of spray starch, and marching into a field to hold hands around a cross and listen to someone demand that the entire book of Leviticus be made an amendment to the Constitution. The only one, for that matter. The ongoing freak-out of Deaniacs over religion is becoming a source of great amusement, really; it’s as if they just discovered that those big old buildings with purty glasss windows and pointy spires on top are actually used by people for something other than voting and annual pancake breakfasts. They can’t distance themselves from the groups that spend all their time using electronic microscopes to find crosses embedded in the currency or trying to keep the Boy Scouts from holding knot-tying classes in schools after class; they can’t reach out to the devout without having to explain why “white Christian” sounds like it’s meant as a criticism. Not an enviable position.

“They all behave the same.”

Oh, Howard. If you only knew.

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